This is how I spend my weekends.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The underperforming deceased
Being currently unemployed and living with my parents, besides making me a great catch, means that I've been watching a lot of ghost hunting shows on TV.
The only amazing part about these shows is that I continue to watch them even though they consistently fail to deliver.
On the list is Parnormal State, with the overly intense John Mayer lookalike. A favorite transitional tactic in this program involves the members of the ghost hunting team staring melancholily into space for 5 seconds after chatting with various locals while the screen slowly fades to black. I keep waiting for one of the interviewees to snap their fingers in John Mayer's face and go, "HELLO? DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID? It goes WOO WOO WOOOOO."
Then there's World's Scariest Places, with the scary-voiced short squat woman from the movie Poltergeist. They try to enhance the experience with creepy piano music and periodic loud sounds for the startle effect.
And the TAPS guys... what is the name of their show? They seem to be the most professional, though a bit boring. Needs a little pizzazz.
The reason I need to quit these ghost hunting shows is not that they keep me up at night, or that they are a supreme waste of time, but that they are disappointing. They generally have to amp up what little bits of 'evidence' they do capture, which are mostly disembodied noises. These area dime a dozen. You can sit in any house and turn off all sound and hear unidentified noises(though that is not something I'm itching to do.)
The second best little bits they get are EVPs, or electronic voice phenomena. These are sounds that a recorder picks up that the human ear did not at the time of the recording. The ghost busters find little pieces of unidentified sounds and call them 'ghost voices,' deciding what the spirits are saying (which usually is no more that "Hey.")
I just wish if these guys really were capturing spirits with these recording devices, the ghosts would put on a bit more of a show. Just once, I'd love to see something really indisputable happen. Like, "Oh my god, something has just appeared on the kitchen counter! A ham sandwich!......and it is delicious!"
Or some better EVPs, such as some serious blood-curdling screaming, or perhaps the singing of show tunes.
Does anybody have any real life ghost stories?? More impressive paranormal activity? Cuz these ghosts suck.
P.S. The title of this blog would make a great band name.
The only amazing part about these shows is that I continue to watch them even though they consistently fail to deliver.
On the list is Parnormal State, with the overly intense John Mayer lookalike. A favorite transitional tactic in this program involves the members of the ghost hunting team staring melancholily into space for 5 seconds after chatting with various locals while the screen slowly fades to black. I keep waiting for one of the interviewees to snap their fingers in John Mayer's face and go, "HELLO? DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID? It goes WOO WOO WOOOOO."
Then there's World's Scariest Places, with the scary-voiced short squat woman from the movie Poltergeist. They try to enhance the experience with creepy piano music and periodic loud sounds for the startle effect.
And the TAPS guys... what is the name of their show? They seem to be the most professional, though a bit boring. Needs a little pizzazz.
The reason I need to quit these ghost hunting shows is not that they keep me up at night, or that they are a supreme waste of time, but that they are disappointing. They generally have to amp up what little bits of 'evidence' they do capture, which are mostly disembodied noises. These area dime a dozen. You can sit in any house and turn off all sound and hear unidentified noises(though that is not something I'm itching to do.)
The second best little bits they get are EVPs, or electronic voice phenomena. These are sounds that a recorder picks up that the human ear did not at the time of the recording. The ghost busters find little pieces of unidentified sounds and call them 'ghost voices,' deciding what the spirits are saying (which usually is no more that "Hey.")
I just wish if these guys really were capturing spirits with these recording devices, the ghosts would put on a bit more of a show. Just once, I'd love to see something really indisputable happen. Like, "Oh my god, something has just appeared on the kitchen counter! A ham sandwich!......and it is delicious!"
Or some better EVPs, such as some serious blood-curdling screaming, or perhaps the singing of show tunes.
Does anybody have any real life ghost stories?? More impressive paranormal activity? Cuz these ghosts suck.
P.S. The title of this blog would make a great band name.
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